Cleaning House

Today instead of shopping i cleaned out closets and the basement. Actually makes me feel good when i get rid of stuff. I usually give good items away to people of send them to the Dominican republic. While cleaning i tried on a bunch of jeans and have to get rid of about 8 pairs...too big for me now!!!! I am giving them away for free so if anyone ever reads here and you are in NJ let me know. They are size 16. I also tired on a pair from high school about a size 14 the label reads but they are mismatched i think.....well anyway they are a little loose on me yeah!!!!!!

I ate better today already and im happy. I had one egg and one tiny red potatoes for breakfast and leftover turkey and cranberry for lunch. I really hate and love leftovers at the same time. I love the convience of them but if i know i have something tasty in the frigde i feel like i cant rest til i eat it. I also feel guilt if it gets thrown away. Im guessing that is from when i was little always eating with my grandparents and you had to finish your plate because you know in the old country they only have one loaf of bread per week.

Not too bad!

I really am proud of myself! I did not stuff myself and eat as much as i thought i would for dinner. I think after all the work and cleaning all day and smelling the food i was so over it by the time i got to eat. My favorite was the cranberry and turkey what a great combo! Now i am waiting for the apple crumb pie to back and we are going to have cocitas (a spanish coconut eggnog type drink)

Happy Thanks giving!

Already this morning we had turkey drama! I took my turkey out 2 days ago to thaw in the fridge and guess what?! It did not thaw. My love was making a special brine for the turkey last night and i left him in the kitchen at about 11 to sleep off my awful head ache. When woke up at 530 because the dog was crying for attention i found my love still awake in the kitchen. He looked beat up! He stayed awake all night trying to defrost the bird but it was a failure...poor thing. So i sent him to bed and said I'd take out the inside yuckies and put it in the brine. He decided to come back out and saw me getting frost bite getting out the inside stuff and he said we had to go get a new bird. So at 6 am off to the store we went. No one inside and maybe one worker. We found 3 fresh turkeys but they were behind the meat counter, i was just about to go behind the counter and open the case myself and someone popped out and got it for me! Yeah new turkey i hope its good!

Also while at the store they had just baked all the breads and danish so we got fresh rolls for dinner...I'm dying for one with butter. I also picked up Cinnamon buns.....so bad but so good. I ate half then the other half later on which brought back my headache. Surgery defiantly does not take the fat girl out of your head over night. I really do vow though to get back on track tomorrow.

My first is on Dec 3. I hope i have not gained anything i will be so embarrassed. But i think they will understand it is the holiday season and if you have so much good foods in the house and you don't eat them you are either really crazy or super disciplined lol

More chinese food

So its about 830 am and I'm already eating the leftover chinese, yesterday morning it was meatballs and spaghetti lol. i am really starting to eat weird in the am. i am usually a person that sticks to only breakfast food in the morning but all bets are off now lol. Good news though it turns out i didnt eat sooo bad after all the past couple days because i did loose a pound woohoo!

Yesterday was my first b12 sub lingual experience. i bought bariatric advantage brand. it wasn't bad at all really tasted like nothing but lasted so long that i got tired of it under my tongue so i swallowed it. when my Flintstones chew ables run out i might buy more vitamins from bariatric advantage because the Flintstones taste kinda gross except purple, the rest leave my mouth tasting like blood.

Tomorrow is turkey Day! My menu consists of shrimp and little chicken tacos for appetizers, turkey potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, rice and beans, and cranberry .....i think that's it for the main course , I'm going to miss turnips but they are too hard to cut and i don't want a repeat of the painful thanksgiving last year lol i got cut and my love got burned. For dessert is apple crumb pie and some sort of coconut milk rum thing from my loves mom. I was supposed to make my first flan but i chickened out...i just want an easy relaxing day with no dessert disasters.

Bad couple of food days for me

I dont really know why i feel guilt for eating bad foods, well i feel guilty to myself i guess because in reality its only myself i have to answer too. Yes my dr may say something but after all is said and done its my body and i have to see it and dress it, not him. I think its all the holiday business that has contributed to my eating downfall. Its sad i have done so well too all these weeks. This weekend i ate like two peperedge farms cookies (choc and macadamia) and then 3/4 of a starbucks m&m cookie (took 2 days and the first day i got soooooo dizzy because i ate too much at the same time) i also had some nesquick but still have yet to finish the little bottle. Actually as i am writing this i kinda feel like yes i ate bad for a wls person but really the way i ate these "bad" foods was spaced out so it was like skinny person amounts. I also went to chipotle and it took 3 meals to finish a rice bowl there. Today was my bosses birthday so we ordered in Chinese, i got chicken and broccoli in garlic sauce....so good. it came with white rice and of course i ate that but i left the soup it also came with for my mom....or for lunch tomorrow. The Chinese i will have gotten three meals out of. Im a cheap date haha. At work we also had a cake and i had the tiniest piece ever just to be polite and hell it was a long hard day....i wanted it! I keep a book of everything i eat everyday so im gonna try to post what i have everyday maybe to help others get ideas.

B- 5 oz meatballs and a tiny bit spaghetti (had that for dinner night before and it was calling me)
s- 1 oz cheddar
l- chick and brocc white rice (no scale at work)
d-6 oz of leftovers from lunch

Surgery Day

Oct 21... the big day! I arrived at the hospital at 9 to check in for 11am surgery. I went to the preop area and wanted to turn around i was terrified. but i didn't. I got my own little area where i undressed and got into the famous gown (plus a lovely maternity pad they gave me to "hold between my legs" thank you period! and got the adorable socks. The room had a tv thank god and i watched king of the hill and rachel ray and my nerves were calm. I got my vitals checked and i was 165 over 95 because i was so nervous. Then i got the iv in the top of my right hand because the left vein sucked lol. After the hook up to the iv i had to pee 3 times it got annoying. Finally after being delayed about a hour because of the surgery before me they put on my paper shower cap thing and wheeled me in. It all felt fake. I saw my surgeon and his helper guy who is too cute getting ready. The or i was in had an underwater theme which i do love so that was even more calming. The or nurses were beyond sweet and trying to make me comfortable and taking my mind off things by saying "oh do you see the fish scene over there" i felt 5 again but it was truly nice at that point when i was having my arms strapped to the boards. I saw the surgeons helper eric come in and he said wazzzzzzzzzup! and everyone laughed then the anesthesiologist came in. He took his jacket off and threw it across the or.....very strange but whatever he kept me alive. He also asked what i'd like to hear on his ipod and i said anything....i couldn't think of any songs i was strapped down for gods sack just do it already. That was my last thought and im still confused about it because i dont remember him ever giving me sedation of breathing in that mask that they say to count backwards from 10....maybe i did and i dont remember. Anyway i woke up in the or freezing so they put heated blankets on me and i remember being soooo hungry, maybe cuz they were touching my stomach? i heard something about a catheter but still dont know if i had one. and when i reached down my pad was gone and i was bleeding all over the bed. i really didn't care though. I was wheeled to recovery and had to get a new iv put in my other hand because it got ripped out .i started to cry because i was scared and in pain. They gave me morphine and monitored me for about 3 hours and took blood and the woman maybe was new because she was awful and hurt me by stabbing me like 4 times. i cried again at some point and said i was in pain and the nurse said "well you did just have surgery". The whole time they kept my mom and all the other patients family out of recovery. Finally i was wheeled to my room where my mom and sister were waiting. For some reason i was super mean at that point and yelled i need to do something about the taste in my mouth. The male nurse brought me a tooth brush and tooth paste. That didnt do anything but he tried so my mom go me some sugar free candy and it was ok. Soon my love arrived (i was so proud of him he hates dr stuff) he stayed with me for a long time that night and even was gonna stay over but i told him to go sleep id be fine in my drugged state all night. Every three hours you better believe i was asking for more pain medicine. I also had the have my pee measured which was so gross because i left bloody murder every time thanks again period and it was so hard to push it out i though they broke it. That night i was allowed to sip apple and cranberry juice and boy did they taste good. I really didnt sleep much just dazing in and out, it was too noisy in the hall. Then at 3 in the morning i got a room mate....if the waking up every hour for vitals and every 6 hours for blood weren't enough now i was really awake all night. The vampire lady came again and poked me about 4 times and went just randomly in my arm. She left a huge hematoma. When morning came i got a new nurse and she came in said hi i have gastric bypass 4 years ago and lost 150lbs i was like way to be straight forward haha. She reviewed info with me and so did the surgeon and i was allowed to leave at noonish but first i got a lovely meal of jello broth and tea. I had like two sips of each. My love showed up shortly after and i was so happy he took off to help me, i thought my sister was coming. He is the best and so caring i really was so happy he came to take me home and he took off the next day too! So thats basically my surgery day story, if i forget anything i add later and sorry for the random thoughts typed...im not really a writer but ill try!

So many doctors, so little time!

On Sept 11 i went to my surgeons two hour info session and got so much info i didn't know where to start. After r leaving i came out wanting to have gastric bypass but the thought left me fast. Honestly the only reason i decided against it was i have not had any children yet (if i even do). Its just my thought for myself that i should not have that extreme a surgery if there was still a thought of children in my future. So lap band it was! The very next day i got on the phone and booked all my appointments. Oh yeah the catch in this whole this is get the surgery before the insurance runs out in Dec. Sept 12 i met the nutritionist for the second time, the first time was no help and the second turned out to be the same (i need a good one!!!) She basically gave me printout that could have googled. Next appointment was the blood work on Sept 13. Dear god that was alot of blood but the woman did great and i have hard veins! While i was all excited about my wls i still had to tell my boss....which i did and he was very supportive but i would have left if i had to to get this done in my time frame. The psychiatrist was on the 18th and that was so funny. I got Dougie Houser! He was so young but trying to dress serious and asked me so many silly questions and then rephrased then to try to trick me i guess such as "do you take drugs" and "on a weekend how may drugs would you say you do" dude i just said i dont do drugs!!! That same day i went to s PCP recommended by the surgeon. He was sweet and creepy. He told me how much prettier i would be after surgery and how happy he was for me....whatever just sign away. I will use him in the furture though. He has one woman who does it all there and she is the best! I met formerly with the surgeon oct 7 and he asked me about my long diet history and said i would be a great candidate for a Realize Band! I could have cried and hugged him but he didn't seem like the mushy type lol. He scheduled me for oct 22. I was so confused, how can you be scheduled without insurance approval. Oct 9 i went for pre admission tests which was just more blood work because the other expired i 30 days. That woman hurt soooo bad. On oct 16 i went back to me creepy dr for medical clearance which of course i got. At this point i really was still unsure if i was getting this surgery, i figured my luck would grant me a no but i believe the next day i got the call from the surgeon i was approved!!! I thanked god and cried. And then i really realized (no pun intended) i was about to change my life. I also got another call that they moved my surgey up a day to Oct 21 which was even better and less time for me to continue my month long last food binge. Oct 20 i went for my preop weigh in and lost a pound woohoo! Surgery was the next day! I made what was supposedly a lengthy process super fast and got it before dec 31! That will be my next blog

I should have started months ago

So i could kick myself for not starting to blog months ago about my Realize band experience so now i can kinda take you back to day one...which was about 3 years ago. My old boss took off from work and the buzz was she was getting wls....ok this was new to me...kinda sounded crazy but i really had no idea what the hell it was. So when she came back she let everyone know she had a lap band placed. She talked to me especially because being a fat girl i guess she knew id understand. She explained things to a degree and it seemed like a great idea to me but sounded really hard to get the surgery. I had no insurance so it wasnt really an option. I asked my mom about it and she told me i was crazy to even think about doing it. So i was only 19-20 years old and i dropped the subject. So for three years the idea was always in the background i guess brewing. This may 2008 the idea popped back up with wls the latest buzz everywhere. I had just gotten insurance but still thought it was soooo hard to get the surgery and i figured my mom would just say it was crazy again. So August rolls around and i had about a month off and my brain got super bored and i googled everything i could on wls mostly lap band....i never heard of the realize band. I told my mom my idea and she said "ok cool i got the guy for you...you should have had the surgery this month while you were off" well needless to say i was shocked but so happy she was ok with it because yes im 23 but i still live at home and she still helps me survive haha (along with my bf...my love...but hes another story <3 ) My mom told me the best surgeon ever and agreed to go to the two hour information session to be my other ears. Thank you mom!