Since september...

So i went to the gyno yesterday (how fun!...yuck) and she said that according to their chart on me i have lost 35 lbs since sept.....wow go me! Since surgery its about 21 ish so thats really awesome. She said she was very proud of me and i looked good. She is basically the one who pushed me to get banded and she never even ever mention it. After my whole issue of my period not ever coming when i stopped birth control, and she said it was do to my morbid obesity (and she was so gentle telling me cuz thats a really harsh phrase)....that woke me up. Yes i knew i was fat but that phrase really hurt. I never thought i was morbidly obese but i guess 230 lbs on a almost 5'2 body is a little much.

Well my postings might be lacking for the next two weeks because im moving....but no one reads anyway so oh well lol!

Hershey Park and fill

This past Saturday was my 2 year anniversary with my love. He took me to Hershey park. He really wanted to to take me to Niagara falls on the us side but i said that was way to far. Hershey is only about 2 1/2 hours away. It was a nice drive over and we stopped at DD , i had a egg white flat bread....not to bad, better then the donuts i was eyeing. We went to Chocolate World and took the tour and bought sooooo many Hershey kisses (i only had three). Then we walked around the zoo which was some nice exercise and it was really nice out not too cold. Last we went to Candy Land which is what the park turns into for xmas. Not everything was open but thats ok still alot of fun. I went on a ride and my love won me a huge stuffed silver kiss lol. For lunch i had a hotdog with kraut and ketchup, no bun. But then i saw kettle corn! We got some and i ate way too much in the car on the way home but it was sooo good and nothing got stuck. When we got back home we went for a late dinner at Olive Garden and i had the chicken carbonara and ate about half. Really nice day ! I want a replay!

So the past couple days have been super busy but i ate better and today i went for my first fill. The cute Dr said im doing really well (20lbs) !!!!! I layed on the table for the fill and had to lift my head up to flex my (lack of) ab muscles so he could find the port and he left me feel it. I never felt it before and still it felt like nothing to me. He got out the needle which was huge!!!! about 6 inches omg! I dont mind needle but i freaked out a little. When he stuck it in the port i let out a weird sound, how embarrassing. It really didnt hurt it just surprised me what it felt like, kinda like a piercing. Ill be ready next time and wont squeal. So for the rest of today and tomorrow im on liquids. I have had coffee and a pvl whey protein shake in Arctic cappuccino frappe.....kinda gross. Now i am starving though!!!!

Cleaning House

Today instead of shopping i cleaned out closets and the basement. Actually makes me feel good when i get rid of stuff. I usually give good items away to people of send them to the Dominican republic. While cleaning i tried on a bunch of jeans and have to get rid of about 8 pairs...too big for me now!!!! I am giving them away for free so if anyone ever reads here and you are in NJ let me know. They are size 16. I also tired on a pair from high school about a size 14 the label reads but they are mismatched i think.....well anyway they are a little loose on me yeah!!!!!!

I ate better today already and im happy. I had one egg and one tiny red potatoes for breakfast and leftover turkey and cranberry for lunch. I really hate and love leftovers at the same time. I love the convience of them but if i know i have something tasty in the frigde i feel like i cant rest til i eat it. I also feel guilt if it gets thrown away. Im guessing that is from when i was little always eating with my grandparents and you had to finish your plate because you know in the old country they only have one loaf of bread per week.

Not too bad!

I really am proud of myself! I did not stuff myself and eat as much as i thought i would for dinner. I think after all the work and cleaning all day and smelling the food i was so over it by the time i got to eat. My favorite was the cranberry and turkey what a great combo! Now i am waiting for the apple crumb pie to back and we are going to have cocitas (a spanish coconut eggnog type drink)

Happy Thanks giving!

Already this morning we had turkey drama! I took my turkey out 2 days ago to thaw in the fridge and guess what?! It did not thaw. My love was making a special brine for the turkey last night and i left him in the kitchen at about 11 to sleep off my awful head ache. When woke up at 530 because the dog was crying for attention i found my love still awake in the kitchen. He looked beat up! He stayed awake all night trying to defrost the bird but it was a failure...poor thing. So i sent him to bed and said I'd take out the inside yuckies and put it in the brine. He decided to come back out and saw me getting frost bite getting out the inside stuff and he said we had to go get a new bird. So at 6 am off to the store we went. No one inside and maybe one worker. We found 3 fresh turkeys but they were behind the meat counter, i was just about to go behind the counter and open the case myself and someone popped out and got it for me! Yeah new turkey i hope its good!

Also while at the store they had just baked all the breads and danish so we got fresh rolls for dinner...I'm dying for one with butter. I also picked up Cinnamon buns.....so bad but so good. I ate half then the other half later on which brought back my headache. Surgery defiantly does not take the fat girl out of your head over night. I really do vow though to get back on track tomorrow.

My first is on Dec 3. I hope i have not gained anything i will be so embarrassed. But i think they will understand it is the holiday season and if you have so much good foods in the house and you don't eat them you are either really crazy or super disciplined lol

More chinese food

So its about 830 am and I'm already eating the leftover chinese, yesterday morning it was meatballs and spaghetti lol. i am really starting to eat weird in the am. i am usually a person that sticks to only breakfast food in the morning but all bets are off now lol. Good news though it turns out i didnt eat sooo bad after all the past couple days because i did loose a pound woohoo!

Yesterday was my first b12 sub lingual experience. i bought bariatric advantage brand. it wasn't bad at all really tasted like nothing but lasted so long that i got tired of it under my tongue so i swallowed it. when my Flintstones chew ables run out i might buy more vitamins from bariatric advantage because the Flintstones taste kinda gross except purple, the rest leave my mouth tasting like blood.

Tomorrow is turkey Day! My menu consists of shrimp and little chicken tacos for appetizers, turkey potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, rice and beans, and cranberry .....i think that's it for the main course , I'm going to miss turnips but they are too hard to cut and i don't want a repeat of the painful thanksgiving last year lol i got cut and my love got burned. For dessert is apple crumb pie and some sort of coconut milk rum thing from my loves mom. I was supposed to make my first flan but i chickened out...i just want an easy relaxing day with no dessert disasters.

Bad couple of food days for me

I dont really know why i feel guilt for eating bad foods, well i feel guilty to myself i guess because in reality its only myself i have to answer too. Yes my dr may say something but after all is said and done its my body and i have to see it and dress it, not him. I think its all the holiday business that has contributed to my eating downfall. Its sad i have done so well too all these weeks. This weekend i ate like two peperedge farms cookies (choc and macadamia) and then 3/4 of a starbucks m&m cookie (took 2 days and the first day i got soooooo dizzy because i ate too much at the same time) i also had some nesquick but still have yet to finish the little bottle. Actually as i am writing this i kinda feel like yes i ate bad for a wls person but really the way i ate these "bad" foods was spaced out so it was like skinny person amounts. I also went to chipotle and it took 3 meals to finish a rice bowl there. Today was my bosses birthday so we ordered in Chinese, i got chicken and broccoli in garlic sauce....so good. it came with white rice and of course i ate that but i left the soup it also came with for my mom....or for lunch tomorrow. The Chinese i will have gotten three meals out of. Im a cheap date haha. At work we also had a cake and i had the tiniest piece ever just to be polite and hell it was a long hard day....i wanted it! I keep a book of everything i eat everyday so im gonna try to post what i have everyday maybe to help others get ideas.

B- 5 oz meatballs and a tiny bit spaghetti (had that for dinner night before and it was calling me)
s- 1 oz cheddar
l- chick and brocc white rice (no scale at work)
d-6 oz of leftovers from lunch